Hot Mama

Isaac playing on the tennis court today

I bought Slim Fast yesterday. I have tried to do the drink my meals thing before and failed, and I've lost over 100lbs doing it the right way, but at this point I just don't care what I have for lunch or breakfast, as long as it has good stuff in it and fills me up, which so far this miracle drink seems to do. I cook super nutritious meals for Isaac, but use whole milk and whole grain baby cereal- both high in calories and fat- good for Isaac, not so good for me... so I'm not really interested in eating it myself (even thought its delicious!).

Why do I have this obsession with weight? Its not really about looking hot or something- its more about being healthy so I can stick around longer and have less complications in my life. But I've been eating so horribly the past few weeks I've put on about 4 lbs and I feel like crap. Being healthy feels so much better than food tastes- I keep trying to remind myself. I'm an emotional eater, and when I'm stressed I turn to food to make me feel better (even though I end up feeling worse afterward because of guilt- and indigestion).

Anyway, tomorrow is my mom's birthday. I don't know how old she'll be- like 53 or something. I'm trying to figure out what I should do for her... Maybe get her a mountain dew bring her grandchild over to visit.

I've spent enough time online today, I'm going to finish my red bull and take Isaac for a walk before it gets too hot.