Being Thankful

Yesterday I went for a walk in the morning. The sun was shining, it was warm, there were birds singing, the air had the faint smell of cut grass and flowers on it... one of those days where the earth in full bloom and beauty that you want to just take it into your heart and keep it there.

All I could think about was my shorts riding up and my legs rubbing together.

I went outside intending to fully enjoy the day and ended up spending half my walk berating myself and feeling incredibly frustrated and unhappy. The mood led me onto a train of thought that took me through my past, present, and future.

I remembered all the bad relationships I'd been in, I saw the beautiful houses around me and instead of daydreaming about living in one someday I thought about how I'd never live somewhere like that. I thought about how I probably looked trashy in the clothes I was wearing, that I was trash, who am I kidding. I thought about how lucky the people I used to be friends with are to no longer know me, how unlucky my poor son is to have me as a mother, and how much better off SO would be if he'd just leave me.I could see this train derailing up ahead and wanted to get off.

I opened up my heart and let God in and prayed for him to take these thoughts from me. Instead of thinking about all these old times I walked in the sunshine and celebrated God's grace, and thanked Him for every thing I have. Being thankful for what you have is a much nicer feeling than being angry about what you don't.