Sacrifice

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is true worship. " Romans 12:1

We are to give over the things we hold onto the tightest to God. Not give Him the things that we don't really care much about. The things we hold control of are the things He wants, and the things WE NEED to give over. These are the things that are (or can be) poisonous in our lives.

God gave me a vision where I walking in a field of flowers with Him. I picked the best flowers and gave them to Him. I know for myself, even when I'm dishing food out to my family, I tend to analyze what bowl/plate has the most of whatever I want on it and keep that one for myself. "Giving" things to people then feeling good about it, even though it wasn't much of a sacrifice to give away in the first place.. I willingly hand over to God the easy stuff, but when it comes to giving him control of my life decisions, my food consumption, my relationship, or my family-- I am very reluctant.

If I am going to live well and healthy, I need to give God all of myself, not just my leftovers. I need to work hard, not cut corners and rush through, and hold up my end of things if I really want God to come in and change me. The parts of myself that I hold onto, God cannot change. He will not violate us by forcing Himself into our lives that way. He wants us to come to him willingly (even if its reluctant willingness, because wow, it can be scary).

"Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday." Psalm 37:3-6

Sometimes we aren't ready to hand it all over to God, but in his grace He is a PATIENT father! Something I am so thankful for. He will wait until He knows we are ready. He will put in our lives the tools that each of us need to change, and if we see them and use them, He will love and support us through our pain and joy.

I look forward in anticipation of what God has in store for me. It feels wonderful to know that He's got my back, that He wants for me what is good for me, that as I take these difficult steps to deal with my past and learn to deal with issues in the present and in the future, He will walk alongside me.