Thankful For My Rock

I had a rough day Sunday in regards to making tough life decisions. To make a long story short, my fiance has been putting off getting married and won't set a date, and I'm tired of waiting around. God made it clear to me that it was time to put it to him black and white- either you wanna marry me and we start planning
how we're gonna do this, or I'm out. I'm not going to wait around anymore.

I'm so thankful for OA because I've learned that my disease has helped create a people-pleaser out of me. I don't stick up for myself, and then in turn, soothe myself with food. Now without the food, I'm feeling my discomfort, and taking action!!! I will no longer be the doormat that people wipe their shoes on. I will no longer try to over-achieve and base my happiness on anyone else's judgment but Gods! I will love myself, take care of my body, and no longer neglect my spirit.

That said, it has been a rough few days, and like many compulsive overeaters, I tend to isolate when times get tough--- including isolating myself from God. I have had a couple small binges the last two days, but I'm catching myself in my wavering today before I let it get insane again. I woke up and have taken on the day with vigor, thanks to God's strength. I came to him with my problems and admitted I had been dishonest with myself the past couple days and asked him to forgive me and take the lead just for today. Its amazing how slippery that slope is back into my disease!!! But with my support groups and God there is ALWAYS a rock or a rope to grab!