Labyrinth of Memories

I'm on step 4 in OA and its a tough one- facing all the mistakes and shame from my past. I don't think anyone can stand admitting when they are wrong- maybe that just comes naturally to some people- but ohhh not for me. I freely admit that yes, I like to think I'm perfect, that my way is always the best way for everyone, and that when someone won't try my way or thinks my way is wrong I have easily written people off or judged them accordingly. Its not so much fun going through all this and realizing what a stubborn fool I've been. Admitting that a lot of relationships that fell apart were my own doing definitely leaves a nasty taste in my mouth!!!

I'm muddling through, facing my mistakes and owning them for once. Even learning from them. I've had some binge days, I've had some good days, but I am no longer the queen of excuses playing the blame game all day. Trying to live for today and not worry about tomorrow and learn from yesterday. I'm doing my best to stick close to God and allow him to hold my hand and take me through this labyrinth of memories.

I need to be gentle with myself and instead of berating myself about these mistakes and wondering "what the HECK is wrong with me???" I can look up to my loving Father and feel his smile shine down on me and his hand warmly close around mine, nod, and move forward... and wow- that's a great new way to live. His grace truly amazes me, his love really is everlasting and always there.