I have found that the main emotion I experience since I've started OA and begun to realize and remove my negative coping skills is anxiety. My days are filled with having to deal with anxiety and anxiety attacks. I admit, I still do not cope with it in a positive way every time, but when I start feeling the urge to eat, and am aware of that anxiety, its a red flag to figure out whats going on and to ask God to help me deal with it properly. I've learned that when I feel and own my anxiety, and wait it out, it goes away. I have also realized very recently that I have mistaken anxiety for boredom. That when I am feeling bored, I am actually feeling anxiety that I urgently need to be doing something- and in the past I'd eat. My goal is to take this anxiety about being bored, and turn it into something positive- like meditation. Meditation on God and writing about it helps me to wait that anxiety out and feel at peace inside.
Abstinence for me is a tight rope act. I have to be focused on that rope and feel my balance... I realize that when walking on this rope that I definitely will wobble back and forth a lot, but if I keep my hands reached out and steady myself with my tools, staying in balance will become easier as time goes on.
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